Some of us cannot be birds, or leaves, or even the branches of a beautiful big tree; but life is life, and even us, poisonous fungi at the foot of a tree, deserve to live, as gross looking, weird, and just unpleasant that we look. Life is life. For the outsider, who no matter how […]
Once upon a time I sat in a lecture hall with thirty feminists and I told my feminist teacher that I too am a feminist. Everyone laughed. I’ve been mocked my whole life. Believe me I don’t give a flying fuck / number of fucks given, zero. If I did I wouldn’t be where I […]
Funnily enough, the closest to perfect animal metaphor for the brain is the toad. It sits, for hours, doing absolutely nothing. Barely eating any flies. And then it takes one fantastic flying leap across the entire swamp and changes the swamp.
My mother said to me on the phone earlier, eat potatoes today. Lol. So I got ready potato salad. It’s so good! Note on potatoes, not to mention mothers: As a single man living alone without so much as a cat to fend for, I could go out and buy potatoes and come back and […]
Have mercy on the elephants, sweethearts, if by sweethearts, we mean elephant poachers, and by elephant poachers, do you mean to tell us (are we actually expected to believe) women are actually married to these monsters? who kill magnificent animals? in Africa? Saint Francis of Assisi, forgive my clumsy iambic pentameter, I am home schooled, […]
Once in (Roosevelt, Chicago) university I had to do a presentation for the president of the university because I had a scholarship to uphold. I wrote an oblique abstract piece of creative writing about a field of tulips as a metaphor for the masses but the president of the university thought I was mad. I […]
There’s a squirrel at the rim of a pipe over a river and the squirrel is drinking the river through the stem of a daffodil.