Kiss me toad

Funnily enough, the closest to perfect animal metaphor for the brain is the toad. It sits, for hours, doing absolutely nothing. Barely eating any flies. And then it takes one fantastic flying leap across the entire swamp and changes the swamp.

Go Fish

My mother said to me on the phone earlier, eat potatoes today. Lol. So I got ready potato salad. It’s so good! Note on potatoes, not to mention mothers: As a single man living alone without so much as a cat to fend for, I could go out and buy potatoes and come back and […]


Have mercy on the elephants, sweethearts, if by sweethearts, we mean elephant poachers, and by elephant poachers, do you mean to tell us (are we actually expected to believe) women are actually married to these monsters? who kill magnificent animals? in Africa? Saint Francis of Assisi, forgive my clumsy iambic pentameter, I am home schooled, […]

Field of tulips circa 2000

Once in (Roosevelt, Chicago) university I had to do a presentation for the president of the university because I had a scholarship to uphold. I wrote an oblique abstract piece of creative writing about a field of tulips as a metaphor for the masses but the president of the university thought I was mad. I […]

Mlle Oiseaux

Poor sweet shy thing rosy posey cheeks. Blush coyly sinisterly beneath each hemline to distract the freaks. When are you going to come out of your shell, start taking some risks? Darling gorgeous honey comb shiny sparkly eyed polishing every last beak.